Isabella Nelluc
by geminiginny
Summary: When Edward leaves, Bella becomes an actress. What will happen when Edward, Alice and Jasper see her on TV? I'm continuing this story from the oneshot written by theenvylover. I HAVE PERMISSION!
1. Chapter 1

"Edward Mason Cullen, if you don't get down here within the next three seconds I'm going to give you a complete makeover," Alice threatened. I got up from my floor and wearily walked down the stairs. I found Alice sitting next to Jasper on the living room couch.

"Sit and watch," she commanded me. I sat next to Jasper and stared blankly at the screen. I hadn't been the most active person since we left Forks; all I did was mope in my room, leaving only to hunt the bare minimum of times. Suddenly a familiar shape appeared on the screen. My eyes widened and my ears perked. It couldn't be…

"_So, Isabella, what inspired you to become an actress?" the host asked_. The image sharpened in my mind and I could make out two distinct figures. One of them was my Bella.

"_Well, actually, I was once told by someone that I couldn__'__t act whatsoever. This was my way of telling him __'__You__'__re wrong.__'" The beautiful girl responded with a smile._ I sensed the double meaning of her words. No. What I did was right. I saved her from the monsters. I saved her from me.

"_What does he think now?" the host continued. Bella looked down at her lap._

"_I don__'__t know," she responded hesitantly. "Honestly, I don__'__t think either one of us could guess what the other was thinking," she laughed quietly. _God, I love her laugh. I love her.

"_We all want to know; why did you change your name?" the host asked eagerly. Bella__'__s face flushed red as she began to answer._

"_I will never forget him. He was, and always will be, the love of my li- my existence," she corrected herself. "I want him to know that he will always be a part of me."_

"_Nelluc is Scottish is it not?" the host pried. _Scottish? I stared at the screen. When did

she meet a Scot? Did he move to Forks when we left? Why would a Scot be in Forks? Did she seriously move on? If she did, does that mean I should too? No. I will not. I _can _not. She was, and always will be, the most important thing to me.

"Why did you do this to her?" Jasper questioned from beside me. "Why did you do this to yourself?"

"It was for the better," I answered.

"Who's better?!? Both of you are severely depressed. I don't even have to be in the same _Country_ to feel Bella's depression!"

I stared up at a furious Jasper. "She moved on," I told him. That set him off.

"_Do you think he__'__s watching this?" the host asked._

"_No. He doesn__'__t like this kind of shows," she replied bluntly. The host looked horrified. Ratings will be down this week…_

"Have you been listening to the same thing I have?" he yelled pointing at the screen. "It's obvious who she's talking about!"

"_But I bet his sister is, so, here it goes;"_

"But she changed her name…"

His fist pounded against my cheek and I went flying off the couch.

"Are you stupid?!?" he asked. I stared at him blankly. What is he talking about?

"'Nelluc' is 'Cullen' backwards!" I looked back at the TV in horror. It was one thing to make myself miserable, but it was completely unforgivable to have her miserable too. The Bella on the screen flashed another smile. I didn't notice it before but they all seemed to be fake smiles. She was a better actress than I gave her credit for.

_She looked at the camera, her gaze pierced through my body. "I **will** find you. I don't care if you want to found or not. So just sit tight and wait 'til I get there."_

(Everything before this was written by theenvylover. I DIDN'T WRITE IT! And I didn't edit it, so don't flame me if there are mistakes! This next bit is me.)

"Haha!" shrieked Alice. "Rosalie!"

"What is it? I'm kinda busy. I'm trying to find that belt we bought in the '60's…"

"No, come here! I'm trying to torture Edward, because he's making Bella and himself miserable. He's not even in the same country as she is!"

"Torture Edward? I'm in." Rosalie was at the door in a flash. "What's the big idea?"

" Well, it goes something like this…"

**That afternoon-**

"Ok Edward, you can come in now!" trilled Alice sweetly.

"Alice, I have a really bad feeling about this. You're singing in your head, which means-what the hell!?" The living room was covered in blown up photos of I Isabella Nelluc. Glossy magazines lay all over the floor. And on the TV were all the movies Isabella Nelluc had ever made. Edward took one look and bolted, and a vampire bolting is pretty speedy…"

"Ah well, Rosalie," called Alice sweetly, purposefully making her voice loud and clear," we'll just have to watch all these movies by ourselves!"

**A/N: Is it okay? I hope you like it. You can tell me in a REVIEW!!!**


	2. Chapter 2

-1 Edward sat in his room. He was unsuccessfully trying to ignore the movies that Rose and Alice were watching, because they were turned up really loud. _What on earth is Alice trying to achieve here? _He couldn't tell, because whenever he tried to listen to her thoughts, he'd hear something like, '_Ooh, Bella looks so pretty when she's kissing that fit guy,_' and that only made him depressed.

Rosalie was just thinking about Emmett, and that was not anything he wanted to hear. He shuddered, remembering. Just then, he let his guard down, and Rose's mind was plainly heard.

'_Why is he so masochistic? If he had just changed her, then she could be all over him like she is that dude on the TV…'_

He had to get out, it was just too much. He sprinted out the front door and to the mountains. When he came across a lion, he drained it…Not because he was thirsty, more because he needed to relieve any pain inside of him. That was where Alice found him the next day.

'You're a moron,' she said unsympathetically.

He looked at her. 'Thanks,' he replied sarcastically. 'That makes me feel real good about myself.'

'It wasn't supposed to,' she yelled. 'You idiot! You can't wallow in stupid misery because it was the stupidest mistake you ever made when you left her. Your problem. You want her back? You go and find her, and you can get down on your knees and beg for her to take you back. And this time, you stick with her.' With that, she turned on her heel and stormed off, but not before he heard her mutter something about playing those videos until he took her back. That did it. He was going to have to find Bella.

**Meanwhile**

'Edward! Don't go!' screamed Bella, flailing in her sleep. Her mum rushed in. 'It's ok honey. Just that dream. It's fine.' Bella started to cry. 'No it's not! Nothing is ever going to be ok again. I think I'm going to fly to New York.'

'Are you sure? Filming doesn't start for three weeks.'

'I know. But I want to get into it. This is gonna be the best effing movie I've ever made, and if he sees it, it's gonna knock him backwards. That's why I'm doing it.'

**10 hours later**

The streets bustled with people, some skinny, some obese, some in the middle. Bella kept her head down and her hoodie up, but inevitably someone recognised her and she had to sign some autographs. She made her way to the nearest bagel stall and bought one covered in mustard. As she walked along eating, she didn't notice a man, also wearing his hood up, who whipped around and stared at her. She made her way back to her apartment.

**A/N: This chapter is like a homage to the fabulous city of New York! Go all New Yorkers ( are any of you reading this? I love you!) In your review, hint hint, you could tell me what your favourite thing about New York is, and who do you think the man in the hoodie is! And anything else you want to mention. It would make me happy, and when I'm happy I update faster, lolz.**


	3. THIS IS NOT A REAL CHAPTER!

-1 SORRY! I know some of you may have missed the fact that this chapter is called THIS IS NOT A REAL CHAPTER! And I apologise.

However, I have equipment malfunction, so just be patient and you will soon have a new chapter. Is that ok?

Btw, If any of you have any ideas as to what you want to happen, run them past me and I will try to work them in. And I mean, ANY crazy idea you have. I'll try anything once.


	4. Chapter 3

-1**Here you go!**

Bella finally reached her apartment, where she was not entirely surprised to see a whole bunch of paparazzi. The doorman, spotting her, cleared them, and she tipped him as she got inside the lift. At the top she got out, and walked into her room. She fell into the bed, not even bothering to take off her tracksuit, and fell asleep. That night, she dreamed again.

Edward crept up the drainpipe with an ease that would have made any watching cat cry with envy. Finally he reached the window where he could tell Bella was sleeping. He crouched on the ledge, and waited.

Bella rolled over.

'Edward?'

'Yes, it's me. Bella, I'm so sorry, I-'

'No, Edward, don't leave me! I can't find my way out! Someone help!' She started to scream. Edward couldn't face her when he saw this. He was about to shin back down the drainpipe when he smelt something that set his teeth on edge. He jumped and ran. It was one of those mutts.

**Back in Bella's room**

'Wake up Bella! It's ok, I'm here for you. You're in New York.' Bella opened her eyes blearily.

'Thanks Jake. Sorry to wake you up, again.'

'It's alright. That's my job.' He laughed. 'I don't get paid the big bucks if you haven't slept.'

'Good to know that that's your only motive,' joked Bella weakly. 'I'd better see if I can get back to sleep. Can you call the people in the morning, ask who they cast in the opposite role?'

'Sure. I'm not sure they've found anyone yet though, the picture might be postponed, a few weeks maybe.'

'Damn, I really wanted to get started. Oh well, que sera sera huh? Let it roll on. They'll find someone eventually.'

Bella stayed in New York. Many times she saw the hooded man again. _He's_ _probably just paparazzi, _she told herself. _Nothing to worry about, seeing as I'm not doing drugs, starving myself or having a secret relationship. _And she felt like the man wasn't going to hurt her. She turned around and there he was. She grinned at him. Funny how she never saw his face.

She saw a huge headline on a trashy magazine for overly hormonal guys. YOU COULD BE GETTING UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL WITH ISABELLA NELLUC IN HER NEW FILM! SEE INSIDE FOR DETAILS! She rolled her eyes. No guy who read that magazine was going to get the part. She saw the hooded guy start out of the corner of her eye. She walked on, past the guy who was trying to get her to buy an umbrella.

**Two days later**

'And could all candidates auditioning for the role of Will please proceed to room 8?'

**A/N: Haha! Another chapter! Thank you you gorgeous, amazing peeps who reviewed and gave me your crazy ideas, because you will see them in the story. You know who you are, and I love you, even though I have totally forgotten who you are. Everyone who gave me an idea, please send a PM or review to tell me what your pennames are and which idea you gave me, please?**


	5. SORRY!

-1**I'm sorry (again) but I'm going to the Czech republic so I can't update for a week. I'm sorry I've been such a lousy updater!**


	6. Chapter 4

-1 Every night Edward watched Bella sleep. She was as interesting as she ever had been, but now she caused him pain whenever her recurring nightmare started, when instead of comforting her, he would have to leave. This was because every night, without fail, that man, Jake, would come in and wake her up himself. And Edward recognised his scent. Werewolf.

Bella was living with a werewolf, and it set his teeth on edge. He was sure she must know about it; after all, how long had it taken her to work out what he was? But he couldn't be in the same room as his enemy, and there was no way to stop him from coming and caring for Bella.

And they seemed happy…Jacob was doing a better job of making her happy than he had. But he knew that he would have to wait. He was currently going through a long audition process. He had read that the last two candidates for the role would meet Isabella, and she would choose her leading man. He didn't care about being in the film, but he needed to be in the last two. So he could see her, without any preparation. _It might work, _he mused. _Either she'll want me, or she'll reject me._

For although Edward had been around a while, he was still a seventeen year old boy.

Bella woke up at seven (not counting the nightmare at two in the morning) and decided to go walking. She was doing a lot of this lately as the casting was taking a long time. Something about a dynamic new candidate? Whatever, no one could ever measure up to Edward.

As she walked, she realised that she felt a lot more rested than she usually did. The nightmares had eased slightly since arriving here. She also realised that she hadn't seen the hooded man for over a week now. Odd.

_You're worrying because your stalker has stopped stalking you, _said a sarcastic voice in her head.

_Boy, you're in trouble._

_Shut up._

_What? You're being illogical._

She shook her head. 'It's perfectly normal to have a conversation with yourself,' she muttered under her breath. 'I guess it's kind of weird when you lose an argument to yourself though…'

She breathed deeply. 'Weird is good. Freaks will one day rule the world. It's all good.'

_You're insane, _said the snide little voice.

There were five candidates left. Edward held his breath as the four others did their auditions. He could hear the thoughts of the director, which was a tremendous help. As he did his audition, he listened to what the director wanted in his head, and did his best to blow his brains out.

As he acted, the other guys shook their heads in irritation. It was obvious to them how good he was.

'Damn,' muttered one of them. ' He's so getting it.'

Lo and behold, Edward was one of the final two. As he waited nervously by her window that night, he wondered what his reception would be the next day. Would she hate him? No, she'd done that TV program, hadn't she. She wanted to see him again. Just then he heard her speak clearly.

'Edward.'

He ducked out, thinking this was the start of the recurring nightmare again.

'Are you coming? I need you.'

That did it.

Fast forward to the next day, when Edward turned up at the studio to find an apologetic director. 'Sorry guys, but Isabella can't make it here. She says, and I quote, that this early in the morning she'd give herself a concussion trying to get here, and that she hopes neither of you are psycho stalkers because we are going to have to go to her apartment.'

Edward grinned. That sounded like her. He was pretty sure she _would _manage to break something if she tried to get there.

As they dawdled through the Manhattan traffic, the other guy, Rob, sighed. 'I could walk there faster than this.'

'You have no idea,' mumbled Edward darkly. They pulled up at her front door, where the usual bunch of paparazzi were hanging around. A security guard from the studio cleared them.

'The last thing we need is some guy publishing that she's having a ménage a trios with her two new co-stars,' explained the director.

Edward laughed. 'Sure,' he chuckled,' that'll happen.'

They walked up to the door and knocked. It was a while before she came to the door. Edward put his hood up.

'What…oh shit, I must have fallen asleep again after I called you,' she said when she saw the director. 'Well, come in, I'm decent, and I brushed my teeth before I crashed. Good thing too.'

Edward looked around her apartment wonderingly. It was a bit of a mess, but comfortably. However, there was no TV, no music, no books apart from non-fiction. He recognised this room. It was practically a mirror of his own. It hurt too much to have things that reminded him of her.

'You can take the hood off, you know,' she remarked casually heading into the kitchen to make coffee. 'Does anyone else want any?'

'No thanks, I don't drink coffee,' replied Edward without thinking. There was a crash from the kitchen.

She stuck her head round the door. 'Edward?'

He pulled the hood off. 'Look, I know the hood was juvenile-'

'What the hell are you doing here? I can't even hit you because I know it would only hurt me. Actually, a lot. But THAT'S NOT EVEN THE POINT!

I've been going insane! I even did that stupid interview. Did you see it? I know Alice would have, she loves that show.'

'Yeah, she dragged me down and made me watch it. Then she tortured me until I came here.'

'Well, thank god for Alice,' she muttered, pulling him into a kiss. She pulled back. 'So, when you say 'tortured' what exactly do you mean?'

'Well…she watched all your movies. Really loud. And she and Rosalie made comments about all your kissing scenes. And our house was a shrine to you. Your face was staring at me whenever I went downstairs.'

'This is very nice,' interrupted the director, ' but am I to assume that er, Edward, is getting the part?'

'A thousand times yes,' she agreed, kissing him again.

**I'M BACK FROM THE CZECHY REPUBLICKY!!! And I have a shiny new chapter. Aren't you proud of me? It's long for me as well, 1083 words! That's long…for me…**

**This is what we're doing for the next chapter, ok?**

**You all give any ideas about what you want the film to be about.**

**You also give an insane idea. It doesn't have to be relevant at all, like you could say 'I want there to be rubber ducks in the story' and I will put them in! I swear! I don't care what it is! You want ducks? You get ducks!**


	7. Chapter 5

-1 'You have to show me your apartment now,' announced Edward grandly.

'I do, do I?' she said hands on hips.

'Yes. I absolutely order you to.'

She huffed. 'Fine. But just so you know, it's not much of a place.'

The tour led them into a sitting room first. It was unremarkable, and it had nothing really individual about it, except that there was a teddy bear on the sofa. It was pretty big.

'What the hell is that?' exclaimed Edward.

'He is called Bear,' said Bella, mock haughtily.

'You call your bear Bear,' said Edward, expressionlessly.

'You got a problem with that?'

'No, no, it's…fine…'

After a tour of the bedroom (which didn't take long) they headed into the bathroom. This was a contrast to anything he had yet seen. Instead of being nondescript, it was bright blue. It also had a line of rubber ducks all around the bathtub. 'What's with the ducks?'

'Come on, you gotta love the ducks!' Bella made a pleading face. 'How can you be so hard-hearted? They squeak!' She picked one up and squeezed it.

'Bella, that is painful to the ears!'

'Stop dissing the ducks!'

'What does that even mean?' said a bemused Edward.

'Oh yeah, 20th century boy,' Bella mused, 'you are very culture backward Edward.'

The kitchen was well stocked. Pots and pans hung off the walls. Edward was amused to note that the knives were firmly affixed to the magnetic strip next to them. 'In case of accidents?'

'Yeah, I had just a knife block, but then I tripped and it fell too and one of them kinda stuck into my foot…'

'Ow,' said Edward.

'Jake had to take me to hospital. He thought it was pretty funny, after he got over the initial shock of seeing me lying on the floor dripping blood-'

Edward gave a bark of laughter.

'It's not that funny! You're just as bad as Jake!' She paused. 'You don't even know Jake, do you?'

'Well, I've heard his thoughts.' As soon as he said it, he realised that this was giving it away a bit.

'You've been watching me sleep again, haven't you?' she asked. 'You heard the dream, right?'

He nodded. She put her head in her hands.

'It's ok,' Edward said soothingly. 'You should have seen me after I left, I was a wreck. I'm sure I would have had nightmares…if I could sleep.'

She sniffed. 'Again with the vampire luck.'

'You know, I was wondering why I got such a good reception, all things considered,' remarked Edward, rubbing her back. 'I mean, I did leave you, even if it was because I though it was best for you.'

She turned her face to his. 'I worked out, after a bit, that you must have left because of that. When I left home to become an actress Charlie found that stuff underneath the floorboards of my bedroom. He sent it to me, and I worked it out from there. That doesn't mean you're not an idiot, though,' she added sternly. 'If you ever leave me for such a stupid reason again, I will not rest until I find Alice, Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle, Esme, and maybe even Rosalie, and get them to kill you.' Her voice got more threatening with every name.

'Received and understood, ma'am,' said Edward sheepishly.

They sat in companionable silence until another thing popped into Edward's head. 'You do know that Jake's a werewolf, right?'

'Yeah, I worked it out quite quickly. I'm good with weird. He's good at getting rid of journalists, as you can imagine.' She laughed. 'One time, he almost phased in front of this one little dude, it's quite funny in retrospect. He was shaking so hard, the dude thought he'd get a nice picture of Bella's secret boyfriend attacking an 'innocent' journalist. Then I dragged Jake inside. And stood back. The photographer almost got a shot of a different kind of attack than what he'd been expecting…' she trailed off, laughing. 'Good thing I stood back though, he phased almost instantly.' Edward frowned. She saw his face. 'Oh, stop worrying, it's fine now. He has very good control. Plus, I barely ever make him angry.'

He still looked unsure, so she told him to go and get the chicken out of the freezer and stop worrying. By the time he had located the chicken, he had forgotten that he was worried.

'Go away squirrel,' screeched Bella. She had begun to cook dinner for herself and Jake, who had gone back to Forks for a few days to see his friends. Edward started. 'Please can you kill it Edward? It comes and watches me cook every single night! Its eyes stare at me. Stary eyes!'

'No, I will not kill the squirrel Bella,' said Edward wearily.

'You're not even a little bit thirsty?' she pleaded.

'No.'

'Hmph.'

While she cooked, he wandered over to her computer. There were words on a screensaver bouncing around. He read it.

'_Have you ever been captured by evil squirrels and taken to their secret squirrel hideout, but rescued by your vampire love, who ran around with a machine gun shouting die squirrels, die?'_

Edward was still shaking his head when Bella popped her head round the door. 'No comments from you about my screensaver, please. Now we are going to make paperclip chains!'

**Haha, this is the random happy chapter! I put in all the random ideas, I think. I checked the review list. Sorry to LucienFlicker, the bear went in, but sushi is next chapter! Thanks to, deep breath…**

**YoricksSkull**

**Frizzy-ella01**

**cheerchmp**

**ReaderRabid**

**starbook**

**ForbiddenChildLover64**

**SWEET-STUFF063**

'**Victoria' anon**

**SillySarah**

**nellie330**

**saphira341**

'**BellaCullen'anon**

**LuthienFlicker**

**sabrina1911**

**Dazzled Dragonfly**

**Sarahj259**

**Jelena4444**

**xxxhellobattyxxx**

**love-hurts-us-all**

**humaa101**


	8. Mildly serious

-1 'I brought SUSHI!'

Jacob's face when he burst in on Bella and Edward kissing was one of mingled horror and disgust.

'Get a room Bella!'

'This is a room Jake,' she pointed out. 'Wait a sec…SUSHI! Edward, he brought sushi!'

'Yeah, I heard as well,' said Edward with a long suffering look.

'Is this the guy who rejected you and made you miserable and ruined your life?' Jake asked curiously.

'Yeah, but he's sorry and he didn't mean it.'

'Ok then,' said Jake agreeably. 'Don't do it again though. It was really disturbing.'

'Was not,' pouted Bella.

'Was too,' laughed Jake.

'Was not…maybe it was, but that is NOT the point.'

'Then what the hell is?'

'Jesus, do you always talk like this to each other?' said Edward, confused again.

'NO!' they both yelled.

'She's usually a bit more subdued,' Jake commented. 'I think you made her…HAPPY. Oh no, we're in for it.'

'POCKY!'

'Make it stop!' Edward begged.

'Seriously, watch the video!'

She dragged him over to the computer and turned to YouTube. 'Haha! I have it. Watch and know true joy.'

He watched, speechless.

'Wasn't that amazing?'

He wasn't about to hurt her feelings.

The next day, Bella had gotten over her joyous outburst and was a bit more…normal. They headed to the film set, where they had to film their first scene.

'Bella, this says it's halfway through. That doesn't make sense! I have no idea what's going on anymore!' He looked sad.

Bella ended up having to explain the story to him, while he listened incredulously. 'Why did you choose this story?'

'Because certain elements appealed. Now shut up.'

'This is my own personal hell on earth,' Edward muttered.

'What?'

'It's the first day and they're making me eat food!' Bella started laughing uncontrollably. A skinny guy stopped to give his advice. 'If you don't want anything, just barf it up afterwards.' This made Bella laugh even harder.

'Not funny Bella, because that's exactly what I'm gonna have to do!'

They sat opposite each other while the lighting tests were run. Edward scowled horribly. He was remembering his encounters with every female on set. There was the make up person, the 'crowd' outside the 'apartment' they were in, two PAs, and a woman in the cafeteria. It was getting beyond ridiculous.

'Action!' yelled the director. Edward walked away from Bella, for what seemed like the thousandth time. Bella started to cry. 'Get back as soon as you can, ok?'

'I'll do my best not to get killed,' Edward replied miserably.

Bella gasped and rushed towards him. They kissed.

'Cut! That was perfect. Now, in this business, perfect actually translates to 'let's do it ten more times,' so back to where you were!' The director grinned apologetically.

**Sorry it's so short! And sorry that you're probably confused! And sorry if I haven't put your idea in yet (I am working up to it, lol.) But otherwise…what did you think? Mildly serious at the end, don't you think? I haven't done a serious one for a while, lol. And if you are confused, just remember…that's the beauty of geminiginny. MWAHAHAHA!**


	9. Chapter 9:Old ties and snow white masks

-1 Bella collapsed in her trailer. Edward sneaked through the door and stood in front of her, waiting for her to look up. She opened her eyes. 'Aah! Don't DO that! It's creepy! It's like you're stalking me!' She pondered on her words for a moment. 'Wait a second…you've had some practice, haven't you, stalker guy?' She grinned at him. He shrugged.

'Well, I pride myself on my sneakiness…'

'Sure you do.'

They smiled at each other. Bella started to look wistful. 'I want you to kiss me Edward.'

'What can I do but oblige?'

He pulled her towards him and kissed her harder than usual. Her fingers wrapped themselves around his neck, and she arched her back. Edward broke away first, as usual. 'I really am going to put up no objections to changing you as soon as we finish this movie!' he said.

Bella was still breathing hard, but she smiled again. 'I knew you'd come around to my way of thinking… eventually.'

'I would do anything to keep you with me Bella. I couldn't lose you again.'

'Well then, you can kiss me one more time.'

They returned to the set, looking innocent. They spent the rest of that day shooting each other looks when the camera wasn't on them, and acting their hearts out when it was. Then Bella's mobile rang. 'It's Jake,' she said, flipping it open. She nodded twice, then laughed.

'He says that there's a magazine that wants exclusive rights to our first ever interview. They want pictures, and a joint interview.'

'You are joking, right?' Edward said desperately. 'We don't have to actually do it, do we?'

'Well we're going to have to publicity for it sometime,' Bella pointed out reasonably. Edward groaned.

'Fine. When is it?'

'Well, not for a couple of months.'

'I hope you know what I sacrifice for you Bella.' Edward sulked.

At home, Edward went nosing through her bedroom as Bella fried herself an egg. He saw something colourful sticking out from under the bed. 'Bella, what on earth is this?' he called. 'Is it that thing under the bed?' she called back. 'Yes! What is it?' Edward stared at it. Bella came through, holding her plate.

'Jake got it for me when he was god knows where. I don't think anyone knows what it is.'

It appeared to be a cart. It had a tractor attached, and when you pressed a button it trundled forward an inch or so. In side it, were…seven nuns. They had strange masks on, which seemed to be of the seven dwarfs. Edward shook his head. 'What has he done to you?' he moaned. 'I was this insane before you left, you know,' Bella said comfortingly. 'Speaking of insanity, where's Alice? I need to speak to her again, it's been too long.'

'Well, call her now, if you like, while you eat your…thing. It looks very odd.' Bella rolled her eyes. 'It's called an egg Edward.'

She grabbed his phone and marched towards the sitting room, curling up on the sofa. She found the number with one hand and ate with the other. The phone started dialling. Three rings. Then-

'Edward?'

'No, Bella!'

'BELLA!'

'ALICE!'

'Oh God,' muttered Edward, blocking his ears. The two women carried on oblivious.

'I haven't seen you for SOOOOO long!'

'Me neither!'

'Duh, Alice, if I haven't seen you then you haven't seen me.'

'Oh yeah.'


	10. 10: Hair gel and awkward questions

-1'I really don't think this is a good idea…' Edward grumbled, as they walked out the door. Bella grinned at him.

'Don't worry, these things are easy as…an easy thing that's easy, ok? Just don't say anything stupid. Please?'

'I won't,' huffed Edward. 'It'll probably be you that says something stupid anyway.'

'Ah, but I have become famed for my stupidity in interviews. It's like a trademark. But that doesn't go so well with your whole tall, pale, handsome man thing. Stupidity wouldn't work for you.' Bella smiled sweetly.

'What do you mean? I have an image now?' said Edward, a little bit pissed off.

'Not really, you're only doing this film and then we can go live somewhere else. Maybe, like, somewhere remote. Like the Scottish highlands. No one will know me there there's just wildlife and heather. We can stay away from people.'

Edward looked a little sad. 'You really wouldn't mind not seeing people for years and years?'

'I'd have you,' Bella shrugged. 'You'll be enough for me until the end of the world. I should be fine for fifty years.'

They arrived at a tall building and went to floor three. Edward stepped out of the lift and was hit by a wave of people. 'Oh, it's Isabella and Edward! How marvellous!' shrieked a very tall woman. Edward looked a bit dazed. 'Hi,' he said slightly nervously.

'You have to go to hair and make up now,' Bella whispered.

'Make up?' Edward hissed. 'Are you joking?'

'Nope. Knock 'em dead, big boy.'

They were bustled off into a small room that smelled strongly of perfume. Edward was getting a sensory overload. A terrified make up artist was pushed towards Edward. 'Hi,' she squeaked. 'You probably won't take too long, you have an amazing face…I mean, you won't…never mind!' she squealed, a little hysterically. Edward nodded. He noticed that Bella was laughing at him. He gave her the finger. She stuck her tongue out at him.

As they headed into a studio, Edward still looked miserable. Bella poked him. 'What?'

He looked at her. 'I feel like a big girl,' he said forlornly.

'You don't look like a big girl,' said Bella comfortingly. 'They have to put make up on you or your face doesn't show up well in the photos.'

'I'm wearing gel in my hair,' he complained. 'It stinks.'

Bella looked at him and tried to keep a straight face. She didn't succeed. 'Hey, let me feel that,' she said, giggling. She tried to pat his hair, but he batted her arm away.

'Don't make me hurt you,' he threatened.

The photos were a riot. The photographer was tiny, and just yelled directions at them, which they followed. 'God, you actors make my life easy. I tell you something, you do it, easy, snap snap.'

Bella tried not to laugh, but it burst out of her, and Edward started laughing too. The photographer captured it perfectly.

Afterwards, they had to head up a floor where they met the woman who was going to interview them. She was refreshingly normal after all the madness downstairs. 'Hi, I'm Liz. How are you?'

'Erm…We're fine,' said Edward, holding Bella's hand. 'Bit tired and everything,' said Bella, grinning sheepishly. They sat down on the sofa, and she asked them a few easy questions about the film. But then she started getting more personal. 'How intense is your relationship?' she asked Bella, out of the blue. 'Um…' Bella looked around, as if she thought it was addressed to someone else. Realising that she wasn't getting out of it, she gulped. 'Well, we've known each other since we were seventeen…He's the only boyfriend I've ever had, and we're very close. Does that answer your question?'

Liz smiled. 'Sure. It sounds like you two have a very loving relationship. But I understand that you have been separated for three years?'

'I thought that it would be better for Bella to find someone else,' Edward interrupted. 'I didn't think I was good enough for her. So I left, to try and give her some room. But Bella's too smart for me.'

Liz laughed. 'So she got you back?'

'Clearly.'

'And how is your sex life?' asked Liz, with a knowing smile. This stumped Bella.

'We're both quite old fashioned…so, you know we haven't…we don't…'

'Say no more,' Liz said. She asked some more questions designed to calm Bella down a bit, as she still looked a bit bemused. She wrapped it up by asking a few questions about Bella's previous movies, and then they were free to go.

'You are hilarious when you're embarrassed,' Edward stated, back home. Bella scowled at him and threw Bear at his head. 'Shut up.'

'Shan't,' he said, throwing him back.

She grabbed him and snuggled up to Edward's cold chest. 'It wasn't so bad…' she tried to reason to herself.

'You are fighting a losing battle there Bells,' chuckled Edward.

'It might not be so bad in the actual magazine,' she pointed out crossly.

'Well, that last part, no offence, was beyond stupid,' said Edward, trying hard not to laugh again. 'You were completely gormless, actually.'

'I know!' Bella moaned. 'It was a bit um-ish, wasn't it?'

'Well, is that the technical term?' said Jake sticking his head around the door.

'Hi Jake,' said Bella.

'You don't sound very pleased!' he said, mock hurt.

' I don't know Jake,' Bella said. 'Why am I such a klutz?'

'Don't know,' he shrugged. 'But it's very entertaining.'

'Emmett always said that,' muttered Bella.

**A/N: SORRY!!!!**

**Sorry I made you wait so long for this most recent chapter of awesomeness! But I have been so busy and I'm trying to write another story because plot bunnies are attacking me and won't go away and I don't really want them to because they are great plot bunnies and I have become the master of the spectacularly run-on sentence. Phew.**

**Btw, the plot bunnies are mostly for a House fanfic. Which is great for any of you readers who like House, but otherwise…please, inspiration? Actual stuff this time. I need material!**


	11. Part 1: the Christmas wrapping

-1'I hate Christmas,' grumbled Edward. Bella looked shocked.

'How can you be such a Scrooge Edward? Can't you feel the Christmas spirit?' she asked in mock horror.

'You're not even religious!' Edward protested.

'And so what?'

'SO, Christmas is a celebration of the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ, told of in the Gospels in the Bible, and giving thanks for the fact that God sent his son to save us all. Not Hallmark cards,' Edward took a breath to add more impact, looking disgusted, 'Frosty the Snowman, Father Christmas, evil elves that stalk you in department stores, and DEFINITELY not pseudo pop 'artists' (here he made quotes in the air) trying to pass off their feeble musical talent as an act of kindness and charity when in all actuality it's just them trying to get a number 1!' Rant over, Edward settled back into the sofa looking satisfied. Bella gaped.

'Wow, you feel strongly about this, don't you?' Edward scowled.

'Yes. I liked it better in my time. Then, everyone actually went to church when they celebrated Christmas, so they could put a little meaning into the holiday. And another thing that bugs me…crackers.' Edward now looked riled up. Bella looked freaked out.

'What have you got against Christmas crackers?'

'Well for one thing we now can't have them in our house at Christmas, because Emmett would always shred them accidentally, or Jasper would win, and then there would be a punch up. Then, if we managed to open one without anyone dying, all you get is a lame joke, a stupid little toy and a paper hat that doesn't fit, all contributing only to the pollution of the world.' Bella looked confused, then resigned.

'Christmas with you isn't going to be any fun at all, is it?' Edward shrugged.

'I'm sure Jake is thinking of something Christmas related. He seems like the type to be supporting those fascist elves.' Edward relaxed into the sofa and pulled Bella with him.

'Well,' said Bella slyly, looking up at him, 'since it is nearly Christmas, can you kiss me? As an early gift?'

'You know I don't need an excuse to kiss you, Bells,' said Edward softly.

**A/N: I AM SO BACK! Hello! I'm sure I have totally lost all my reviewers by now, because I am SO terrible about updating, but check out my profile for my rubbish excuse. Now, this is incredibly, ridiculously short, but there is a reason, and I think you'll like it. See, this is like my wrapping on the Christmas present (which is an actual chapter.) And what I want you to do is this. Send me your suggestion for what Jake should spring on Bella and Edward for Christmas day, and I will write the chapter. BUT BE WARNED! If I do not receive plenty of ideas, my creative sleigh will not take off, the bells will not ring out, Santa WILL NOT COME…and you will have NO CHRISTMAS CHAPTER. I'm not kidding. So PLEASE humour me? Please?**


	12. The Christmas spirit

-1**The Christmas Special.**

'Edward, come look at this!' yelled Bella, laughing hysterically. Edward rushed in, thinking that maybe Jake was having another tickling match with her, and saw both of them were lying on the floor clutching their stomachs. Bella was also clutching a magazine. 'Look!' Edward looked. It was the interview they had done. Bella pointed to a line of the article.

'_Despite having only just started the filming of their new movie, there is already a fan club dedicated to our two charming young stars. Those who join this club ship _**Bedward.**'

Edward was speechless. 'Man, you are so screwed when your sisters hear about this,' commented Jake, before collapsing into another round of hysterics.

'How…' stuttered Edward. 'How could anyone come up with anything so ridiculous?'

'Beats me,' said Bella, calming down. 'But he's right. Can you imagine what Alice is going to say?'

'Maybe she won't see it,' said Edward hopefully.

'Fat chance. Alice is addicted to magazines. Once she sees us on the front cover, there's no way that she hasn't picked it up and read it.' Edward groaned as he realised that she was right.

'Let's not think about this now,' he suggested. 'Jake, what are you two making for lunch?'

'Chicken,' he said, his laughter subsiding.

'Really?' I thought it was customary to have turkey at Christmas.'

'I hate turkey,' said Bella, helpfully.

'Well,' said Jake, 'I say we are making chicken, I mean we are making four chickens. I will eat three and three quarters. Bella will eat the rest.'

'Well, that's the first thing either of you has said today that makes sense,' muttered Edward.

'Ooh, Edward, look!' cried Bella. Edward braced himself, and stepped into the kitchen. 'It says that we are most compatible!'

'What?' he said, baffled.

'Star signs, you thick skull,' said Bella wearily. 'I'm Libra, you're Gemini.'

'I am? And what difference does that make? We're clearly compatible, we live together and I haven't killed you yet.'

'It just proves it,' said Bella, grumpily. 'It's very important to have proof in whatever you do.' She tapped the magazine. 'It says so right here.'

'Surf's up!' said Jake, yanking the chicken out of the oven. 'Which means…'

The door crashed open and there was a high pitched scream. 'Bella! I've found you!'

'Bella, run!' hissed Edward. 'Quick! Whatever you do, don't let her…' Alice burst through the door, and grabbed Bella in a hug. 'Too late,' said Edward under his breath.

'Bella!'

'Alice!'

'How did you-'

'Jake told me he was pregnant and he needed some impartial advice!'

'No he didn't!'

'Yes he did!'

'You're kidding!'

'Nope. But thankfully, he was. Edward! Aren't you glad that I made you watch all those movies now?' Edward nodded weakly, looking slightly bemused. Alice caught sight of the magazine and pounced, catlike. 'Aha! Did you read this?' she asked. Not waiting for an answer, she howled, 'BEDWARD! Who comes up with something like that?'

'Someone like you, Alice,' said Edward.

'Where are they?' said a deeper voice.

'Emmett?' said Bella.

'Oh here you are!' said Emmett, sticking his head through the door. 'Nice to see you Bella.'

'You too,' said Bella.

'Oh. There they are,' said a bored voice, coming from the doorway. 'Hello, Bella. Edward.'

'Hi Rosalie. Carlisle! Esme! Jasper! It's so nice to see you again!' Esme came over and hugged Bella, while Emmett grinned at her.

'I brought your Christmas present,' he announced. Bella rushed through to the sitting room and tore the wrapping off a large parcel.

'Oh, you shouldn't have, guys,' she said fondly, stroking the sheep with rockers on the bottom. 'Thank you! I think his name is Sean. Sean the Sheep!'

'You know how many clumsiness related injuries she could have on that sheep?' Edward muttered to Emmett.

'Yeah. That's why I insisted on getting it,' smirked Emmett. As he watched, Bella fell backwards off the sheep and landed on her shoulders, rolling to absorb the shock. 'Oh, that's just not fair!' he said. 'She's learnt how to fall safely!'

'I made a resolution to do it, so that the next time I was around vampires I wouldn't clear the room because I was bleeding,' said Bella. Emmett scowled. 'Don't worry,' said Bella. 'How about I tell you about that time with me and the carving knife and the wet floor?' He cheered up immediately.

'Sounds good.'

'I can wiggle my ears,' said Alice. Bella and Jake were eating their chicken-well, Bella was eating, Jake was inhaling- and the others were discussing party tricks. 'I can make a whole room of people hyperactive, as long as I can draw the feeling from this little psycho,' said Jasper, nudging Alice. 'Remember that time when-'

'Thank you, Jasper,' said Carlisle sternly. Jasper grinned apologetically.

'And Edward? You're being very reticent. Why don't you tell Bella what you party trick is?' Alice smirked evilly.

'No, it's fine, she doesn't need to know that,' said Edward, looking panicked.

'It can't be that bad,' said Bella.

'He can be a living statue,' laughed Alice. If it were possible for a vampire to blush, Edward would have.

'Shut up, Alice.'

'Ooh, I want to see!' said Bella excitedly. Edward shot Alice a 'you're dead' look and got up. He did his living statue impression and Bella walked around him.

'Mm, very good,' she said appreciatively.

'Although technically, he really isn't so much a living statue as an undead statue,' said Alice, giggling. Bella looked around her family, who seemed to be taking up her entire apartment, and thought how lucky she was to have an insane group of people who loved her. Excluding Rosalie, who tolerated her.

'Do you want Ben and Jerry's Bella?' yelled Jake from the kitchen.

**A/N: It's the Christmas chapter! Goodwill to all men (and women). And reviews! Please! Call it a totally free, easy and brief way to give someone the best present they can receive, ok? It only takes 30 seconds! Come on! I don't want to have to beg…**


	13. Beatlemania and other horror stories

-1**A/N: Y'know what? I am a bad, BAD child. I am a hopeless updater. So I understand if you feel that I should update more often, because I really should. You've probably forgotten what happened in the last chapter by now, but anyhow, I am FINALLY updating this story so you can all have a bit of randomness.**

'Na, na, na, nanananaaaaa,' sang Bella happily as she lay on the sofa, with Jake acting as the space heater. It was snowing outside, and everyone was freezing. Well, all the normal people anyway. Which basically translated to only Bella, as everyone else was either a vampire that didn't get cold, or a werewolf who, you guessed it, never got cold.

'Na na na na…hey Jude,' sang Bella. Emmett stuck his head around the kitchen door.

'Is that the Beatles that I hear?'

Edward started to laugh.

'Emmett has a slight obsession with the Beatles Bella,' he called from the kitchen. 'Ever since he heard 'Yellow Submarine.' We think it brought out his inner child. Personally, I found most sixties music infantile.'

'I only sing the Beatles when it snows,' said Bella. 'I don't know why, but it just seems appropriate.'

'It's because they leave me cold,' muttered Edward.

'Come on, come on, come on…' Bella sat watching the clock. 'YES!' She grabbed her bag and hurried out of the set. 'Bye!' Edward looked shocked as she burst into the canteen. 'Come on, let's go! We have to get home.'

'Why?' he asked suspiciously. 'What are you planning?'

'Nothing,' said Bella quickly. Seeing the look on his face, she amended, 'Well, maybe I am planning something, but mostly I just want to be in close proximity to a radiator. Let's get back to the family.'

'Ok…' said Edward dubiously, as she dragged him from the sandwich he was pretending to eat.

'No.'

'Aw, come on Edward!' pleaded Bella. 'It's Emmett's unofficial birthday.'

Alice marched towards him. 'Edward. If you don't watch these movies with us for your own brothers sake, then we will spend the afternoon watching the Spice Girls movie. And I will sing along to ALL the songs. Loudly.' Edward buried his head in his hands.

'You've got him Alice,' called Jasper, sniggering. 'I can feel it…he's cornered.'

'Fine, I'll join in with this asinine plan. But if you even attempt to make me seem enthusiastic, then I will rip you all into teeny tiny pieces, and good luck putting yourselves back together. Except Bella.'

'Oh, thanks Edward,' snorted Rosalie.

'Well, she wouldn't be able to put herself back together, would she?' said Edward, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

'It's the principle of the thing,' said Rosalie, haughtily. Just then there was a knock at the door.

'Shoot, it must be Emmett and Carlisle,' hissed Alice. 'Everyone hide!'

**I've left you my version of the cliffy. Now you all have to guess what I have planned as a surprise for Emmett! And dudes, not meaning to sound nitpicky, but this has been bugging me for a while. I should just let you know that this story has a beginning and an end, but otherwise? NADA. Nothing. Nil. Niente. Rien. Get the picture? I need creative input from my reviewers. A two word review does not merit the word review. The reason I write this story is because people give me inspiration and I turn their ideas into a hopefully funny story. There are some awesome reviewers out there, and you know who you are, because I have probably told you, but there are more who only tell me to update soon. Dudes, I once had a review that made me laugh. It said, 'Review.' That's it. That is not what the review box is for. If you tell me you like the story then I KNOW you want me to update it. Telling me to actually kind of annoys me. Just so you know. Anyhoo, rant over. I promise. Just bear in mind what I have said. I love you all really!**

**And for anyone who's wondering, the Beatles references are all for my friend Emma. She's obsessed.**


	14. JITTERBUG, BABY!

'SURPRISE!' shouted Alice, Esme, Jasper and Carlisle enthusiastically, jumping up and down. Edward and Rosalie half-heartedly waved balloons in the corner.

'WTF! GUYS! YOU DUDES ARE AWESOME!' bellowed Emmett. 'What's the surprise? Alice leaping around like a loon isn't surprising.'

'Well…Bella had this idea…' started Alice, when she was interrupted by Edward.

'This was your idea? Bella, how could you DO this to me?' said Edward, putting his head in his hands.

'AS I WAS SAYING…before I was so RUDELY interrupted…Bella had an idea that we could watch all the Beatles movies!'

Emmett was silent. Then he grinned. 'Bella, this human pet thing is great.'

'I am not your bunny rabbit Emmett,' warned Bella, pointing her finger severely between his eyes.

'No, Edward…come back! This is the awesomest part!' said Emmett excitedly, gesturing at the screen. 'They're getting ready to sing!'

'Exactly,' muttered Edward.

'Edward Mason Cullen, come back here and be supportive right now or I swear to god…' Bella searched around for something she could do to hurt him. 'I will hit my self with these scissors!' She said, triumphantly.

'There's no need to injure yourself Bella,' said Edward, calmly. Bella raised the scissors high. Edward flew at her and the scissors bounced off his arm, broken, while Edward crash landed on Alice. Bella turned to face him.

'You just broke my scissors.'

'You love it.'

'Shut up.'

'Ok.'

And he kissed her, just as the characters on screen blew up.

'Damn it, I missed the only good bit,' said Rosalie. 'Please go and suck face somewhere private.'

'No, we're done,' said Bella, breathlessly.

Later, the party was in full swing, Emmett boogying with Rosalie to sixties tunes while Alice jitterbugged with Jasper next to them. They were too busy dancing to notice that Edward was by the record player. 'Sorry guys…I'm putting some real dancing music on,' he said.

Fifties rock'n'roll blared out of the speakers and Alice looked momentarily furious, but then relaxed. 'Hey, whatever, it's a party, let's not have a brawl,' she said, getting back to her dancing with Jasper, only now they were doing the hand jive.

'I'm not dancing,' called Bella over her shoulder as Edward crept towards her.

'How did you hear me?' asked Edward, disappointed.

'I didn't. I just know how your mind works.'

'You have no idea,' said Edward, looking pissed that he didn't get to drag her onto the dance floor struggling in surprise, as usual.

'You do it every time there's a party Edward,' Bella pointed out.

'Well…I might have changed, you didn't know.'

'But obviously, you didn't. People don't change. And neither do vampires, smart mouth.' Bella grinned.

**A/N: I know YOU know my thoughts on reviews by now…and I'm not going to apologise for my horrifically slow update because I had homework, plus revision for sucky exams, plus four articles to write, plus English essays. So, you know…if you wanted to help me out, you could press that button, because it has been SCIENTIFICALLY PROVED to speed up homework. It's true. I'm not lying. Ad if I am, it doesn't count, because this is the Internet. Cookies to you that spot the House MD reference, and if you watch it you should definitely get it because it's VERY obvious.**

**Oh, and I've never watched any Beatles movies. I only did this for one of my friends, who loves them, as mentioned last chapter. So I don't know if there is singing, or explosions. If there aren't, tell me. If there ARE, DEFINITELY tell me. And I will reply to the good reviews later, but I'm going on a school trip for a while so don't be offended if it's four days later than usual. **


	15. Mugger maniacs and boxing kangaroos

'Holiday is over, people!' yelled the director. Bella and Edward weren't listening. They were staring mushily into each other's eyes. 'Someone separate our two stars, please,' muttered the director. 'I knew there was a reason I don't usually employ couples. I swear, if they break up…' he walked off set, muttering threats.

'I think the director wants to do some filming or something,' said Edward.

'Sorry, what?'

'You look so cute with all that mud on your face.'

'What? Oh, yeah. I'm supposed to be shooting a fight scene…oh crap! Now!' Bella bolted for a different part of the studio.

'Watch out for the toaster!' called Edward.

'Watching!'

That evening, Bella and Edward were sitting in her apartment trying to relax, as best as you can when there are a large amount of people crammed into an apartment in New York. Because none of them, excluding the original inhabitants, had any ability to sleep, the lack of beds was not a problem. However, Carlisle had already left to get back to the hospital, taking Esme with him. Emmett and Rosalie had plans to go to Australia, as Emmett wanted to see if kangaroos really could box. Rosalie had told Bella that she was only agreeing because she had always wanted to swim with sharks.

'And it's not like they can hurt me.'

Alice and Jasper were going back to Forks the next day. Although Alice loved New York, Jasper was finding the huge amounts of people distracting, although Alice confided that they had done wonders for his self-control.

So all in all, Edward was looking forward to the next few days. He was used to Jake's smell now, and had found that he was very easy to talk to, if a little adolescent. He had to remember that not all supernatural beings were necessarily older than they looked.

'So, Bella what did you do today?' chirped Alice.

'I pretended to fight a mugger in an alleyway with a mop,' she sighed. 'I'm sure it will look very good on screen, but I felt really stupid having to roll around in a fake, muddy alleyway bashing some poor, innocent dude with a mop.'

'Ouch,' Edward winced. 'How many times did he get poked in the eye?'

'Only twice,' said Bella. 'I wish these fools would read the contracts, which tell them that if injury comes to them as a result of being in direct proximity to me they will not be compensated. It might scare a few of them off.'

'Stunt men live for a challenge, Bella.'

'This one wasn't a stunt man. I feel less guilty hurting them, as it is kind of their job.'

'How about you, Edward?' said Alice, with little interest. 'More trudging around, feeling hot? In both senses of the word?'

'You guessed it, little sister.'

'But Edward,' said Bella, an evil glimmer in her eyes, 'you will look so brave and unyielding, not to mention exquisitely dirty, when the film comes out!'

'So you both had a dirty day today?'

'Yeah. Oh, Edward, tell her what the director wanted you to do today!' snorted Bella.

'Do tell, dear.'

'Grow a beard. Like Jude Law in Cold Mountain, or something. Apparently, returning to your loving girlfriend's house after months of fighting makes you have an extreme reaction to shaving.'

'What did you say to that?' asked Alice eagerly. 'I mean, my underarm hair has never grown-'

'Alice, TMI.'

Edward sighed heavily. 'I told him that my beard grows ginger.'

**Right. I have a new plan. I have two weeks free of school and other places except in front of my computer, so I am planning to write as much as I can and then post chapters in weekly instalments. How does that sound? Terrific. I'm glad you like it. **

**There will be more of a return to an actual plot now. Sorry, hyperness lovers. Squee, the many people who want a story. There will still be that very unique flavour of madness that is my trademark, no worries.**


	16. Atomic bombs and pizza

'We're free of them all!' Jake sang, joyfully. 'No more demented stinky bl- vampires to crowd the apartment!'

'Edward is still going to be staying here, you know,' commented Bella.

'One, I can deal with.'

Bella shook her head and grabbed her keys. 'Listen, I'm going to work now, but you have fun doing whatever it is that you do all day. If you feel up to it, there was a magazine that wanted a statement about the film.' She opened the door. 'Please tell Edward that for someone who is awfully undead, he sure takes a while in the shower.'

'I heard that,' called Edward. 'Coming in a sec!'

Later that day, the director was trying to manipulate a large crowd of extras around the museum set. 'No, you're in a quiet place, and you're quiet, and unhurried, and-QUIET!' he yelled at one group, who were laughing in the corner. 'Or I'll boot you out and we'll have a DESERTED museum scene. Now, shut up!'

Edward smirked. Bella just got more and more tense. 'Why did we have to have the most useless extras ever today, of all days? This is one of the most emotionally fraught scene of the whole movie!' she hissed.

'What's actually happening?' asked Edward, puzzled. 'I mean, it doesn't seem very realistic.'

'The set will look better on film,' Bella reassured him. 'As for the rest, this is Hollywood. We're all telepathic here.'

An hour later, and the extras had been suitably subdued.

'ACTION!'

Bella sat in front of an exhibit; the first atomic bomb demonstrations. Statistics, facts and films were shown behind glass. She looked sorrowful and pensive, staring at one paragraph. A quote from a US military general.

'And…CUT! Now, Edward, what I would like you to do is just come out from behind that pillar and…'

'What did you think, Edward? Your first onscreen kiss ever, and all that.' Bella smiled at him, tired after the late finish that day.

'Well, I enjoyed the kissing bit,' mumbled Edward. Although he wasn't tired, he felt a bit drained.

'I can't quite remember what it was like; I'm so tired. Want to remind me?' Bella smiled sweetly.

'I think I could probably help with that.'

Edward leaned towards her.

'Hi guys!'

'Jake!'

'Can't you smell the pheromones or something, weredog?' Edward asked, snippily.

'Sorry man, I could only smell the pizza!' said Jake, sheepishly. He came through the door, holding a stack of five pizzas.

'Let me guess, one for Bella, four for you?'

'Dead right.'


	17. Dirty jokes and four inchheels

'It's a wrap, everybody. There's a party tonight at Bungalow 8 to celebrate. Expect many paparazzi.' The director walked off set in a dramatic fashion, billowing his parka behind him.

'Are we going to this thing?' asked Edward.

'Edward, we're practically required to attend. Find something to wear if you don't want more press than we already have.' Bella rolled her eyes.

'Yeah, I can't help but think you would look a little conspicuous showing up in those,' nodded Amanda, a girl who Bella had liked working with. She had the biggest supply of dirty jokes going, but only produced them when nobody was expecting them. She was looking at the slightly grubby overalls that Edward was wearing over a muddy t-shirt.

'You may have a point,' Edward replied. 'So, well tailored and suave?'

'Sounds all right to me, love,' said Bella. 'Oh, I have to invite Alice. She will have a heart attack if I don't. Plus she can help me find something to wear.'

'Honey, I'm home,' shouted Jake, kicking open the door with gusto.

'Are you coming to the party, Jake? You can be my bodyguard if you want.' Bella grinned.

'Under the circumstances, I don't really think a bodyguard is necessary,' called Edward from another room.

'It's for appearances' sake only, I'm not doubting your manliness,' muttered Bella, knowing that he could hear her.

'I heard that,' called Edward.

'I know.'

'Does he have anything to wear?' asked Alice, skipping in from another room. 'You have to come and change now, Bella, or I won't have enough time to do your make-up.'

'I have one suit that fits me,' said Jake. 'I had it custom made once it became apparent that no one makes suits for men over six foot six.'

'Then I guess it'll have to do,' said Alice.

The car pulled up in front of the club surrounded by paparazzi.

'I guess this is it, then,' mumbled Jake.

'Let's go get 'em,' said Alice, opening the car door and striding out. Bella and Alice were both wearing fairly short, sparkly dresses, although Alice's was sparklier and her heels were higher. She still only reached Bella's shoulder, and was only a bit beyond Jacob's waist. The two boys were in their suits, Edward in dark grey and Jacob in black.

'I can't walk in these shoes Alice,' said Bella frantically.

'I kept telling you to practise,' Alice reprimanded her sternly.

'I did, and I broke like three things!'

'Shut up and walk, Bella. Or feel the full force of my wrath.'


	18. WHOOPS!

WHOOPS!

Last week I accidentally posted the wrong chapter, so 'Dirty jokes and four-inch heels' is now chapter seventeen and I have put the correct chapter sixteen, 'Atomic bombs and pizza' in the right place. So, yeah. You get chapter sixteen again! But a different chapter sixteen! And you are probably very confused by now. So just go read the story, huh?

Love, geminiginny.


	19. Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee

Alice was a whirling blur on the dance floor, as Bella watched from the side. Edward had been the first thing the girls had noticed, but with the almost visible 'taken' sign hanging around his neck, Jacob, with his high cheekbones and huge frame, had quickly become the main event. At that point he had danced with a dozen girls, and was on number thirteen; a pretty brunette who was probably the only girl in the club tall enough to come up to his chest.

'Stop watching them,' murmured Edward.

Bell jumped, and then scowled. 'I am allowed to do whatever I like, Edward Cullen,' she replied, huffily.

'I can tell that Alice is making you dizzy, love. Your eyes are nearly crossed.'

Bella realised that she was having a few vision problems. 'Maybe I'll look at you for a bit,' she suggested, coyly.

'I've been looking at you all evening,' said Edward, and he captured her mouth with his.

Meanwhile, in another part of the club, Jacob was staring at his partner. Or, more accurately, at the top of her head. She could only dance so easily with him because she was wearing impossibly high heels.

'What was your name again?' he shouted.

She craned her head to look at him. 'Layla,' she shouted.

'That's pretty,' Jake yelled back.

'Do you want to take this somewhere quieter?' Layla shouted, as loud as she could. Jake nodded in relief. The thumping bass was making his head pound.

Out back, Jacob couldn't tear his eyes away from her. 'I'm Jacob Black. Sorry, I should have said that earlier.'

'Well, I probably would have thought you'd said something different in there anyway. That bass line was doing strange things to my brain, and it doesn't help that your face is about a foot above mine.' She grinned, and Jacob's face split in an easy smile. 'How tall are you anyway?'

'Seven feet, roughly. My dad stopped measuring me when I got past six foot eight.'

Layla nodded. 'I'm five foot ten, but at the moment I'm probably six foot two. It's a good thing I'm a practiced heel wearer. These shoes are seriously scary looking.' She extended her spike-heeled foot for Jacob to see.

'Well, I have to say that I'm pretty good with scary. And those pretty much trump a lot of the frightening shit I've seen. The thought of anyone trying to stand on such a small surface area…' Jacob trailed off.

'What? It impresses you that I can?' teased Layla.

'Yeah, I guess so. My friend Bella needed support to make it into the club and to the nearest seat wearing heels that high. That said, there's another friend of mine in there who can wear any shoe and look like she's walking on clouds.' Jacob waited for her reaction. Layla narrowed her eyes.

'Well, I've never been a floater. I stomp.'

'Bella? Oh. There you are. Listen, I'm gonna take off,' Jacob said. Bella spotted the brunette girl holding his arm.

'You do that, Jake,' she said, raising her eyebrows suggestively. Jacob smirked. 'Just…take her to yours, not mine, ok?'

'Will do, Bells.' Jacob sped off towards the back exit again.

You want to take off as well?' asked Bella, turning towards Edward (difficult to do, as she was sitting on his lap.)

'That sounds good to me. These people are all totally inebriated. It smells weird,' grumbled Edward, lifting Bella into his arms and standing up in one fluid movement. He sped for the door so fast that no one even saw them leave.

'What about Alice,' Bella said suddenly, once they were back in the car. 'Won't she be worried?'

'She's having the time of her life, don't worry. She likes to watch men's faces when she tells them she's married.' He chuckled. 'And she'll have seen us leaving as soon as we decided to go.'

'Thank the Lord for vampire powers, right?' murmured Bella, sleepily.

'I don't think that the Lord has much to do with vampires, Bella,' said Edward, sadly.

'Cut the soul crap, would you?' muttered Bella.

'Just for you.'

And Bella fell asleep.

**A/N: Hey everyone! Here's your shiny new chapter. Sorry it took a few days; I've been inundated with homework now that school has started again. sigh**

**All fellow Jacob fans, here's some happiness for you! I'm thinking of continuing a separate Jacob story once I finish this one, so keep your eyes peeled, ok? And, y'know, it would be great if I got a review from you all telling me what you think…**


	20. Sickening lovers and Alice's shoes

The break between the end of filming and the premiere was blissful for Bella and Edward. Jake was pretty much out of the picture, as he was spending most of his time with Layla. Bella had refused to hang around with them any more because, as she put it, 'they're so nauseatingly happy together that I would puke on their happiness. Did that make sense?' Edward was quite happy not to have to endure the smell, so he didn't make any objections. Instead, Bella and Edward spent a lot of their time walking around New York, enjoying each other's company. It was winter, so Edward could walk around freely during the day, as it was so grey and cold most of the time. Unfortunately, the wet and sometimes icy pavements were near lethal to Bella. Edward was constantly watching her so that he could catch her before she fell on her arse.

'You know, I think we're probably fairly sickening ourselves,' Edward pointed out.

'What do you mean?' asked Bella, watching her feet carefully.

'Well, I know that I'm spending the rest of my existence with you, and you know that you're spending the rest of your life with me. I think that makes us very…' Edward searched for a word.

'Enviable?' suggested Bella.

'Well, yes, kind of,' agreed Edward.

'I disagree,' said Bella. 'I think that anyone would be envious of someone who got to kiss _you_.'

'No, you,' countered Edward. Stopping her before she could object with a hand over her mouth, he continued. 'My point is that I have no doubts. And although I can't hear your thoughts, I don't think you can disagree with me. We are meant to stay with each other. Which is why I want to move to Alaska with you as soon as the premiere is over.'

Bella stared at him, her mouth hanging open. She looked completely gormless. Almost literally without a gorm. 'Huh?' she finally managed. 'You…me…Alaska?'

Edward nodded, looking worried. 'If you don't want to, that's fine,' he said hurriedly, 'because, you know, it's your life and I have all the time in the w-'

Bella cut him off by leaping on him and showering him with kisses.

'So you do want to come with me?' he said nervously.

'Of course I do you stupid great prat!' said Bella, in a caring way. 'You're telling me that all that lies between me, and eternity with you, is one red carpet…which I have to navigate…in shoes ALICE picks out for me…' She paused. 'Wait a second…I'm doomed.'

**A/N: There's a cute chapter in the interim between the last chapter and the next proper chapter. I now have a fixed idea for where the story is going, and it will eventually involve Jacob and Layla, who you may remember from the previous chapter. My plan, children, is to finish this story, although it will be left on a cliffhanger, after around ten more chapters. I will then write the Jacob/Layla story which goes alongside it. THEN, I will write ANOTHER story which has both stories meeting and interconnecting in new ways…intrigued? Head over to my author page and read Little Green Apples which is sort of a preview into the Jake Layla relationship, although it happens after all of these stories I just talked about happen. Confused yet? Oh just go and read it.**


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